Elena was raised by a single mom after her dad passed 5 years ago. Her mom became strict with her; thought it was the best way to keep her safe and in the right direction. Elena went to high school that was few kilometers away from her home so mom could easy visit and find out what she was doing in school. Elena didn’t like her mom’s company, she felt she was maltreated for no reason. All Elena’s mom wanted was the best for her only child.
Elena’s mom discovered she was too strict on her daughter and decided to let loose a bit. Elena told her mom a guy asked her out and she accepted, her mom said “no problem”. Four months passed by like a flash and Elena began to enjoy her mom’s company slowly. It was time for school prom and Elena requested of her mom’s permission to go and her mom agreed.
In a blue silk gown reaching Elena’s knee, a blue hair clip and a white heels with a small wedge bought by her mom few day ago, Elena walked out of her house with Christopher her boyfriend and waved her mom bye. “Come back before 11pm”, her mom instructed as they left.
“Does she know what surprise Chris has for her tonight?”, she had one of Chris’ friend whisper to another juxtaposition close to her. She waved the thought aside and walked with Chris into the dance hall. Loud music playing, blue and red lights glowing round the whole room, this was a place Elena would have wanted to spend her last high school days; oblivious to her the party wouldn’t end the way she expected it to.
She deceived to make the most of the situation and enjoy the night the best she could. “Elena!”, Christopher called her outside the dance hall where the sound of the music wouldn’t disrupt their discussion. A few minutes later, their voices began to go up with a heated argument which wasn’t noticeable by others because of the loud music playing inside the hall.
About fifteen minutes later Chris was seen in the dance hall alone while Elena was outside crying and alone. It was 11:30pm at that time. Elena cried for a long time and eventually went home. On her way home she knew her mom will be very angry and could even beat her even though she was already heart broken.
The door creeked as she opened and walked in, her sigh of relief that all the lights were off and her mom had gone to bed was cut short when her mom switched on the light immediately she walked in. Elena was taken aback by the whole scenario. Her mom pointed at the clock that read 2am as she slowly walked towards Elena without opening her mouth. Each step her mom took towards her made her heart skip her a mouse running from a cat.
Elena’s mouth dried up, she could even make a sound or tilt her lips to say a word, still looki in fear as her mom was approching towards her. As her mom came so close to her she expected a slap or something painful but got an entirely different result which you’ll get to know soon because there’s more…
“Your boyfriend broke up with you?”, her mom said to her. With tears in Elena’s eyes she just hugged her mom and started crying. Her mom hugged her tightly and started to calm her down and eventually patted her to sleep.
Elena’s mom displayed an act called “Empathy Reflex” which I’d explain if you read further
Empathy Reflex is learned behavior whereby on is able to place him/herself in someone else’s condition and feel the same pain or joy one is feeling. It’s mostly used in the pain aspect. This entails making the other person know and understand that you know what he/she is going through and this makes the person feel realxed and relieved even while going through the pain.
This empathy reflex was also seen in a story of a young girl of 5 years and her mom at the ATM. The girl was thirsty and the mom couldn’t leave the queue to go get her water. Time and space won’t permit me to tell the full story but the child eventually carried her dry throat till after her mom’s withdrawal cause her mom excercised the same empathy reflex.
You and me as individuals should make conscious effort to learn this behavior of empathy reflex and parents too are not left out. It would go a long way to Foster and maintain relationships at home, school, offices, etc.
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